Today is Father’s Day and I was thinking about what this day meant to me. It was tough and tears were had, but I started to think about how it would’ve affected my sisters growing up as well. I have two older sisters and we are all a handful of years apart from each other and I tend to butt heads with the middle one more often than not. She’s kind of mean to me, but call her out on it and we move on. My big realization is that no matter what happens, such as a father that’s not in the picture, we still have each other. When we were younger, my oldest sister would be responsible for us, and so we were usually clumped together. There was usually an intellectual age gap, but now the dynamic has changed since we are all adults. Being the youngest, my role was always to cheer people up. Now, my role has transformed into someone that can bring us together, encourage positive behavior, and give advice about things in life.
My immediate family was always close with my extended family growing up. This makes sense because they immigrated together and they supported each other, so there was always an emphasis on family growing up. Personally, my family values developed when I was a kid. My father is self-employed and was always working when I was growing up. He was only there financially and was absent from many birthdays, school performances, and other things you’d expect a father to be at. We never played catch as a kid. One of my earliest memories as a child was this one time when I just in tears because my dad didn’t show up to something and he was also yelling at me to stop crying and to control my emotions, which just made me feel worse. I ended up making a promise to myself that if I ever had kids, I’d want to be the dad that I never had. (Disclaimer: I don’t plan on having kids anytime soon, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never thought about it without having a huge smile. I actually used to joke about being a stay-at-home dad, but I think it might actually be a lot of fun, especially if you’ve seen me with kids.)
On the brightside, my mom was the opposite and she provided me more than enough love to make up for my lack of a father-figure. To be honest, it has at many times felt like it was way too much and was smothering me, but I’ve learned to deal with it because she’s honestly not going to be around forever. (A bit dark? Yes. Necessary? Also yes, because I believe that it is something that everyone should realize and this is why you should start appreciating the time with your loved ones now. (Today is probably the best day to do it, by the way!) It was also remembering this feeling of being loved that also made me believe in God again when I was going rough time transferring schools. I can honestly say that facing the reality of death inspired me to truly start living a life that I wanted to live.
TL; DR: If you don’t have your core values, then you don’t really have anything. (My highest core value is family.)